“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” - Anais Nin

Screen Shot 2019-01-23 at 12.23.44 PM.png — VISION BOard

I recreated this vision board while living in Hawaii — I had a vision wall at home. I posted this image almost 6 years ago. It’s hard to read the sticky notes but they are power statements I wrote to motivate me to pursue my passion. Here are a few that I can make out:
You have RINA! (My sister and trusted friend)
Don’t over think.
Don’t throw it away. (My dreams)
Stand Tall.
“Watch ME!”
Take Risks.
FAIL.
Just to name a few… Imagine if I would’ve started 6 years ago! I think it’s time.

We all have dreams. We all definitely have fears of pursuing those dreams. But have you ever really sat down and listed the reasons you have fear of pursuing your dreams? I have, and I found this exercise therapeutic and empowering. It has helped me recognize the roadblocks that I’ve put up for myself. All of the roadblocks were very valid but overly irrational. Here are five reasons I’ve kept myself from my dreams and how I’ve talked myself off the ledge of self deprecation and ultimate defeat.

1. I already tried and failed

You didn’t succeed the first try so it’s not meant to be. Let’s play Simon says for a second.

“Simon says, GET UP!”

“Simon says, TRY AGAIN!”

“Fall down!”

HA! You fell down. Game over. You lose!

Chasing after your dreams is like playing Simon says — you’re bound to mess up just by playing, it’s part of the game. Another part of the game is learning from the experience of messing up, so that you don’t fall into that same trap again. I remember the first time I played jr. jazz basketball. Our team was undefeated. That is until we played against a team of more experienced basketball players — we lost. It was the first time I had felt the sting of losing (I had lost before but never so publicly). I remember after the game came to an end I ran to my mom and started bawling! I didn’t want to play basketball ever again. I couldn’t handle that feeling of losing and putting myself out there like that again. Long story short, my parents explained that losing is just part of the game, and to come back better prepared next time. So if you’ve tried and failed — cry it out if you have to, but be sure to come back. You’ll be a little bit better the next time.

2. I’ll look like a loser

No one cares. No one would want to buy this. No one even knows who I am. You aren’t made for everyone, and your dream isn’t either. There are very few or no products that every human uses. There is the internet, cell phones/computers, social media, and a few others. Guess what, there are multiple internet providers, multiple cell phone companies, and social media outlets to fit an array of needs. I truly believe that your dream is unique and will attract exactly who you want to attract. So go for it. Plus, you’ll have a friend in me.

3. So and so told me…

“So be that friend that says, “You can do this!” And when they come back, because they will after hitting a pothole, tell them to “Keep going!” You’ll probably even find yourself excited to chase after your own dreams with them.”

Have you ever opened up to someone about your dream and got a response you weren’t hoping for? Most of the time when we do this we are really only looking for validation. We’ve already felt that gut wrenching feeling that it’s time to start, it’s time to make the jump and so we do…to our trusted friend who out of love and concern might not support us the way we wanted. So what do we do? We begin to doubt again and rationalize our fears. We don’t consider our gut as a trusted advisor. But why shouldn’t we? The next time you get advice from someone, take it for what it is, advice from one person. More so than not they are trying to help you consider other variables in your pursuit of that dream.

***Along with this. If you happen to be lucky enough to be that trusted friend. Be supportive and encouraging. There’s a healthy balance of having concern and showing support. Most of the time you’re that friend that we confide in with the things that scare us the most. We typically look to you for support and validation to go for it. So be that friend that says, “You can do this!” And when they come back — because they will hit a pot hole — tell them to keep going! You’ll probably even find yourself excited to chase after your own dreams with them.

4. You don’t have time

Actually, that’s false, you do have time. You have 24 hours in a day and a total of 8760 hours in the year. EVERY human being has the same amount of time in the day. Before I got started, what I was really saying was, “I don’t want to put in the time to make it happen.” I’ve been working on combatting that thought by first being honest with myself (girl did not want to give up her leisure time) and being intentional with my day. I recently began a new morning routine that I’ll for sure be doing on a daily. I’m planning on adding a few more things, but milk before meat. Definitely a blog about this morning’s exercise once I’ve been consistently doing it!

5. You aren’t qualified

Says who? Who has the right to deny anyone from becoming qualified while in the process of learning. I love this quote from Albert Einstein about himself: “It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.” The reality is there will always be someone more qualified than you. That same person who is more qualified than you right now also had someone else more qualified than them at some point — the difference is that it didn’t stop them from becoming qualified. So do yourself a favor and let yourself be human. You can become an expert in anything you put your efforts into…the law of the harvest! You reap what you sow!

While there is no guarantee for success there is one for not trying: failure. You are bigger than your fears and definitely bigger than your excuses — all it takes to prove that to yourself is to keep trying. You have everything that you need to manifest your destiny. So what do you say? Let me be a trusted friend. Comment about your own wildest dreams below, or share this with someone that needs a little push.

Mandy Hayter @heybw